Do you want to raise your children to fear you or to respect and trust you?

Although it is reasonable that it should be unacceptable, physical punishment of children is still not a rarity. Spanking or slapping as an educational method some parents still represent believing that a spanking is not a big deal.

Research on the prevalence of physical punishment has shown that more than a third of three-year and fifth of six-year-old have been hit once a week by their parents.

Experts, on the other hand, indicate that a slap, hair pulling, pulling the ears will not always be abuse, but will be violence.

There is more and more opposition to physical punishment of children. Hitting teaches them that things can work only in that way, and parents often lose control at these moments.
Physical punishment can end improper behavior, but harm the long-term relationship.

And while some parents are keenly justifying their spanking or slapping especially when the child is told a hundred times and still does not understand,” others will admit that after they sometimes lose control and experience a feeling of helplessness and hurt the child – they feel miserable and resent themselves what they did.

A recent survey shows how such an approach is truly harmful. The research lasted for 50 years and included more than 160,000 children. The results showed that the hitting (defined as a hit with an open palm on the buttocks or extremities) is significantly associated with the adverse consequences.
Physical punishment has a counter-effect and manifests itself as a minor form of abuse. The researchers looked at the impact of the slapping the buttocks on the mental health of children and their behavior.

The research team found that physical punishment, in children, causes:
– More aggression,
– A higher level of antisocial behavior,
– More acting,
– Reticence,
– Mental health problems,
– Lower level of self – esteem
– Negative relationship with parents.

The research also shows that this form of punishment is associated with lower cognitive abilities in children and intelligence.
Parents often justify the mild physical punishment because they feel that it is the only way children will learn the difference between good and evil.
Psychologist for Children and Adolescents, Jennifer Hartstein, warns that parents should give up this practice if they want to build a relationship with children based on trust and understanding.

We must learn children to be independent and therefore we must allow them to do some things themselves, without our excessive interference. Instead of beatings and punishments, logical and natural consequences should be used.

Source: http://www.centarzdravlja.hr/zanimljivosti/sto-se-dogadja-kada-roditelj-udari-dijete/#title